A Journey of Acceptance

This academic year, B arts are hosting student placements from Staffordshire University’s brand new Collaborative Theatre Practice MA course. The first set of placements took place in November-December 2021, and the students supported the production of our winter show The Lost Post Office.

In this blog, Ryan reflects on his placement with B arts, which he titled ‘A Journey of Acceptance’.

Author - Ryan Charles Jacob - 1st February 2022

During the month of December, myself and some others from a course called Collaborative Theatre Practice at Staffordshire University were lucky enough to be a part of the team behind the production of “The Lost Post Office”. 

From the moment that I started there was an all-encompassing atmosphere of being welcome, everybody was happy to meet me and let me listen in on some of their conversations about decisions for their 2021 version of the show – they also made it exceedingly clear that any ideas I might have were valid and that they are open to hearing them which made me feel comfortable expressing myself to them when I did later on. They spoke about elements of the story that did or didn’t work last time and openly discussed what they had been changed to and why. These kinds of discussions were helpful for me to hear because it gave me a sense of how a professional theatre company might work together. 

Everybody that took part on putting “The Lost Post Office” together worked collectively, we cleared out the space by moving larger items to different rooms, moving cardboard boxes and pushing things to the side while having a laugh and getting to know each other. What surprised me about this is that it didn’t matter whether you were an actor or a director, you were all working towards the same purpose of clearing the space for the performance, there was no hierarchy of someone who is “above” clearing. At lunchtime Kath called out that it was lunchtime, and that food was in the café, this surprised me as I was expecting to go off to a nearby shop and to buy a sandwich but they provided warm, vegetarian meals for everybody – yes everybody. The whole company of people in the building would come down and sit together at a long table and share the food that had been prepared, these lunches felt like we were all part of a large family, with people passing over cheese, plating up, making sure everybody had water etc. They were immensely enjoyable because I would get the opportunity to ask people what they had been working on, or what their roles were and how they did them, it also provided a true sense of everybody being equals because we would get the chance to talk to Susan the Artistic Director and various other members of the company that were off working on different projects. 

It was wonderful, unlike anywhere I have ever worked before, but after spending my three weeks at B-Arts I hope to be able to work for or set up my own theatre company that has the same warm, welcoming feeling that working there did. The whole building felt like a place where creativity blossomed with pieces of art in the common space and creative signs on the doors that would make me chuckle as I went through them – one of my favourites was a door sign for a toilet that you have to twist to say it’s engaged but on the other side it says “VACANT” and has in brackets (pretty) above it which made the song by the Sex Pistols play inside my head every time. It was also nice to hear the stories behind some of the pieces of art like Boris the Flea and how different pieces were collected like a model which, scarily, looks like a dead body.

My absolute favourite sign was on the front door of Bread in Common because it says that the LGBT+ community are welcome, which made me feel safe there because I am a queer man. During my placement nobody mentioned anything about my sexuality or how I expressed myself and didn’t blink twice when I would talk openly about men I have dated, however because I was *irrationally* afraid that they might think of me differently I kept part of my identity private from them until the end. I am privileged that I can hide that part of me if I want to because I have been on hormones for over two years now and have had chest surgery, but I came out to the rest of the company when the show finished by telling them that I am a transgender man. I felt silly for not telling them because Martin had previously spoken about his friend that is also transgender in inclusive ways. Richard who was the head of construction for the show assured me that nobody would ever have treated me differently if I’d have told them and that I am still a man – which was comforting because it was something I had worried about for the whole three weeks. Coming out to everybody was amazing because I don’t think I’ve ever felt more seen and supported before by so many wonderful human beings, this along with the experience of “The Lost Post Office” made me feel like even more part of the family, like a brother.

There are a few things that I learned from my time at B-Arts, one is that I would like to run my company with an open door policy, where anybody can talk to anyone regardless of job title and where people receive a warm welcome from the moment they walk in, two is that I shouldn’t be afraid to be open about who I am because it limits me from just being authentically me which is the whole reason why I transitioned because I was sick of hiding who I was, and the final and most important thing I learned was how to make the best – most aerodynamic- paper aeroplane. 

Thank you everybody at B-Arts.

Ryan Charles Jacob